i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The uberlube is also flammable
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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