We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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