we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
barbara walters just said penis...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
a search helicopter?!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
