you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
