You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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