I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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