u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
