How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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