Can Purell be used as lube?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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