Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
