Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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