How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
