I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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