You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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