There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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