But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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