haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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