She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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