He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The power of my boobs compel you
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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