I need to stop coming to work sober
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
