so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I look better un-naked...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
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