oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
