I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
