i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
