We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
