Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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