We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
