M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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