Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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