RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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