Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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