But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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