he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
