I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
