I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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