Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize