At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
