im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just invented taco cereal.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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