I just made out with a guy for $7.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
