I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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