I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
