I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
