I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
