Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
