Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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