he wants to bone in the snuggie
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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