Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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