I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
