Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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