What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
