just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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