WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Randomize
